Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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