I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
