How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
