i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is Oprah even human
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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