If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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