He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
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