I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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