I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
