Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
