i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
