I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize