People in love make me want to vomit
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize