It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
