What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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