I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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