We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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