your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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