My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
