Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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