It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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