whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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