i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
