How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
