We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
