she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's get the cat blown out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
