Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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