How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
