Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize