you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is wine microwaveable?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
