my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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