We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
4 words: hood of his car
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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