Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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