i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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