I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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