Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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