She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
