so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize