Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
