dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
