Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
