I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
