Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize