brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
