Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize