do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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