She's JV to your varsity
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize