She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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