is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
