HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
