Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
