haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if only i could text you this smell
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
