My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
