I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
