You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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