a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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