I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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