you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
