Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
