i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
