Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize