I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
tell me about the fingering
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