Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
