He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
