This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
