I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
