I bet he comes in French.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
