Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
