Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
