so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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