Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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