At least make sure they are 18
Why
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
