well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
