you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
