I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize